Zombies versus Vampires

Welcome back Zombiology Students,

It’s a busy time here at the Zombie Institute. We’ve just finished developing a brand new tutorial Worst Case Scenario that premiered at the London Horror Festival during Halloween. Right now our team are organising a UK tour so do keep your eyes peeled for that. This has meant I’ve had less time to write articles for the ZomBlog, but I’m making up for it now by finally completing this Zombies versus Vampires blog to which many of you contributed your thoughts.  

As you’re no doubt aware this year saw countless news stories appearing relating to cannibalistic attacks. These stories have inspired the term ‘Zombie Summer’ and are almost always cited as being indicative of Zombies, leading many to believe that a Zombie outbreak is in progress, or at the very least, building up steam. In a previous blog I discussed this, and to reiterate, they are not Zombie-like at all. However, whilst talking with my friends at the Zombie Shop, they made an interesting point, “...was there an influx of 'real' vampire attacks after the release of 'Interview with a [sic] Vampire'?”

Before we start, can I get you a drink? No. Wait. I meant something to eat. Damn it! It's the Murdoch interview all over again!

Has the prevalence of the Zombie genre (e.g. The Walking Dead, Zombie events, walks, etc) caused reporters to become obsessed, and see Zombies everywhere? If so, why hasn’t the Twilight series created a similar pattern for Vampires? Or as Zombie Shop point out, did Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire evoke such a response when it was published, or again when adapted as film?

It’s important to state here that I am not examining ‘real’ Vampire stories, those that pertain to describe the exploits of a mythical being who feeds on blood. I for one am not an expert in Vampirology. I am merely looking for news stories that attribute unusual assaults/murders to Vampires, or set these stories in that context.

Interview with the Vampire was published in 1976, and the later film adaption in 1994. During my research I couldn’t locate many reports of Vampire-like attacks following either of these periods.

This may be due to the lack of Internet, it was a simpler time, where not every news story was posted online and kept available until the end of the universe. However, in 1998, 22 year old Joshua Rudiger ran around the streets of San Francisco slashing homeless victim’s throats and drinking their blood. He claimed to be a 2,000 year old Vampire, and a Samurai.  

There are a wide range of such stories available in the 21st century, amazingly some very recent stories are far more extreme than that of the Miami Cannibal. Yet we haven’t seemed to have heard of them.

Take the case in Florida of Josephine Smith, a 22 year old woman. In September 2011 she viciously attacked an elderly homeless man, biting chunks of flesh from his face, lips, and arms. Her final words before beginning the assault were, “I am a vampire, I am going to eat you.” When arrested Smith claimed to have no recollection of the attack. This story is very similar to the recent Miami Cannibal case. The victim in both instances was a homeless person, both involved biting, and both attackers carried out the attack naked. Yet this story apparently failed to capture the public’s eye. Smith wasn’t even deemed worthy of her own nickname as the ‘Florida Vampire’ or even ‘Bitey Lady’.

And this is by no means the only one;

May, 2006: A 15 year old girl attacked three classmates in New York, slashing their throats, biting them, and attempting to drink their blood. The ‘vampire’ was charged with second degree assault as a minor and released. Read in full: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/12547-vampire-girl-attacks-classmates

December, 2010: A 20 year old in Alabama attempted to burn a ‘V’ into a teenager’s forehead, the arresting Detective described him as, “a want-to-be vampire”. Read in full: 

http://www.emirates247.com/offbeat/crazy-world/man-claims-he-s-a-vampire-2010-12-10-1.327469

August, 2011: An 18 year old man appeared in court accused of, amongst other things, cutting young woman, biting them, and telling them he was a vampire. Read in full:

http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/article_e09b91ea-bc90-11e0-9421-001cc4c002e0.html

August, 2011: A 19 year old Texas man, who claimed to be a 500 year old vampire (from Hell), broke into a woman’s apartment and bit her, then fled shouting that he, “didn’t want to have to feed on humans”. Read in full:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/texas-man-bites-woman-claims-vampire/story?id=14315864#.UAl4nrSe68A  

June, 2012: A San Diego man with ‘vampire teeth’ was arrested for attacking a 55 year old homeless man. Read in full:

http://www.pakalertpress.com/2012/06/12/man-with-vampire-teeth-attacks-homeless-man/

I'm often mistaken for R-Patz

June, 2012: In Denver a woman was arrested after attacking two people in a convenience store, groping and biting one man, then biting the female cashier. Read in full:

http://www.emirates247.com/news/woman-jailed-for-vampire-like-assaults-2012-06-24-1.464211

A notable difference between these stories and their Zombie counterparts is tone. When reading the Vampire stories it’s obvious that they don’t paint the ‘Vampire’ as being real, but rather as an (often) disturbed person. Yet many of the Zombie articles cite the incidents as being clear proof that a Zombie is real and that a ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ is beginning.       

A fellow Zombie researcher, Louise, had an interesting perspective:

Eating human flesh, particularly the face, in public places is a bit more terrifying than draining blood in public. Plus, those acting like 'zombies' seem unconscious of what they're doing, whereas the 'vampires' are probably very conscious of their actions ... which, to me, make it a little more scary.

Another student of mine, Mike, had this to say:

The main issue is the background of each of the two types of story, vampiric behaviour has always been seen as erotic, personal, and this is why people are attracted to the whole vampire thing due to books and movies. The vampire has lost its ‘darkness’ and is more acceptable now as such the media likes is shock value and that's why the ‘zombie’ stories still loom large in the media. There is nothing sexy about eating someone’s face.

However, fans of the film Zombie Strippers may disagree with the last sentence.  

Ultimately I haven’t determined a single reason as to why assault stories framed as ‘Zombie Attacks’ are more prominent and have a tendency to go wildly viral compared to those described as ‘Vampire Attacks’. But I do like the following idea from one of my top students, Flora, on how we can make the Zombie a more attractive story in the press:

Zombies lack the glamorous image the press likes to promote, but do get the 'shock, horror, yuk' response. Redress the balance by getting Gok to do a zombie make-over, thus making them appear more on-trend and ask Alistair Campbell to do some negative spin about the more gruesome vampire activity, showing them in their worst possible light in a Sunday newspaper expose. Suddenly zombies will be the ones to get the positive headlines and vampires will be so last year they won't get a mention, except in a short disparaging paragraph on page 10.

I'll leave you with this brain tickler from the enigmatic Philosoraptor...

If any of you out there want to know anything about the real science behind zombies, do send your questions to info@zombiescience.co.uk or post them in our Book of Faces (www.facebook.com/zombiescience).

The truth may well be out there,

Doctor Austin

Doctor Austin ZITS BSz MSz DPep, is a Theoretical Zombiologist and Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies at the University of Glasgow, Scotland UK.  

Face Off

Good day Zombie Science Fans,

In the past few weeks the world has been buzzing with stories of potential zombie incidents. Only last week I was on US radio reassuring my American cousin’s that they are safe, and have had many requests to explain what’s going on via the old Book of Faces.

The body of Mr. Rudy (naked) and his victim Mr. Poppo.

It all began with a chap in Miami USA, who spent almost 20 minutes eating a homeless man’s face before being shot dead by police. From there the floodgates opened, not a day passed without someone eating someone’s something, and journalists attributing it all as evidence that the zombie apocalypse is nigh.

Now, no one more than I would welcome the arrival of zombies. Mostly because if they remain theoretical I will have wasted my entire scientific career. But also because it would make it easier for our Institute to acquire research funding.

So are these incidents indicative of Zombieism spreading amongst the population?

No.

And here’s why.

Journalists regularly use the word zombie in their articles to sell more papers, zombie-banks, zombie-youth, zombie-countries, etc. In fact I’ve written about this in a previous blog. It amazes me, given what we know of the industry, that people still believe anything that’s written in a newspaper. But that’s away from the subject.

If we put zombie in the headline twice we'll sell double the amount. Throw in our integrity too. 

The three main ‘supposed zombie’ stories cited have been; Eugene Rudy AKA the Miami Cannibal, who ate up to 75% of the homeless Mr. Poppo’s face before police stopped him, the Baltimore student who murdered his housemate and ate parts of his brain and heart, and lastly, the Hackensack man who stabbed himself dozens of times and threw his protruding intestines, as well as pieces of skin, at the SWAT Team who arrived to help him.

Sack, right, not slash. My bad. Let me wipe those intestines off. Officer.

Now we can certainly understand where the zombie angle comes from for the first case, it maybe just works for the second, but certainly not the third.

In the Miami case the attacker showed no regard for wearing clothing, consumed his victim raw, did not respond when talked to, and did not demonstrate self-preservation (ignoring the officer’s request to desist or be shot). These are all behaviours a true zombie may have.

The second case is tenuous at best. The murder may or may not have been premeditated, but the keeping of the body parts most certainly was a conscious choice. Zombies do not have the mental capacity to plan or carry out such a scenario.

The third case is definitely disturbing, but hardly zombie like. A zombie would struggle to use a weapon, has little interest in self-harm, and doesn’t have the coordination to throw an object.

So if the cause isn’t Zombieism, what is it?

There are a variety of possibilities. The Miami Cannibal was thought to have been high on a designer drug called ‘bath salts’. The effects of this drug are consistent with his behaviour, high temperature (leading to removal of clothing), hallucinations, and violent behaviour. However this has not yet been corroborated by toxicology reports.

Man, I'm so high right now.

The second case was one of pure cannibalism. Cannibalism is in itself a mystery. We do not know what makes some people choose to eat other people. We have yet to identify anything in the brain, damage or otherwise, that can explain why it happens. You won’t find cannibalism in any psychiatric handbook or any instances of it being a defence for the behaviour in court.

Lastly, the third case was carried out by someone who had a history of mental problems.

In conclusion, none of these events provide us with any evidence to support the arrival of the Zombieism disease.

Many people are citing bath salts as being a drug that makes people into zombies. However there have been countless bath salt fuelled incidents reported; such as a man who broke into a random family’s house and put up their Christmas decorations, or, another man who was found wearing women’s lingerie, standing over the body of a dead goat. These tales just scratch the surface of ‘high on bath salts’ news stories. Yet it is only the ones that can be vaguely pinned on Zombieism that get the same attention as that of the Miami Cannibal.

So the next time you read something discussing a supposed incidence of Zombieism, check the source. If it has been written by a journalist and not a zombiologist and/or scientist, you may want to pass it directly to my colleague, Mr. Shredder (the appliance, not the Turtles baddie).

Ha ha Doctor Austin, I'm where all those manuscripts you send to Brian Cox end up!

If any of you out there want to know anything about the real science behind zombies, do send your questions in to info@zombiescience.co.uk or post them on our Facebook page (www.facebook.com/zombiescience).

The truth may well be out there,

Doctor Austin

Doctor Austin ZITS BSz MSz DPep, is a Theoretical Zombiologist and Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies at the University of Glasgow, Scotland UK.

  

For even more Zombie Science pick up the official Zombie Science book on Amazon now.