The Zombie Scale

A good day to you fine Zombiology Student, come on in and make yourself comfortable.

In our ZomBlog today we’re answering a question posed by Chris who wanted to know, “Can zombies rock climb?”

This Zombie is on the fence

Rock climbing is a challenging but extremely fun activity. In the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse it may be reassuring to know you can simply ascend to safety and take up residence in a cave, holding weekend dinner parties with Bigfoot.

But this reassurance may be shattered if the undead can simply shimmy up after you.

Let’s first find out what it physically takes for us humans to climb.

I'm guessing a strong sphincter is one thing

Studies have shown that the average elite male climber is around 5 foot 8 inches, and weighs about 65 kgs. Muscular endurance is important, as you often have to hold your hand in a single position whilst your body moves. What makes climbing rather physiologically unique is that it requires sustained and intermittent contraction of the forearm muscles for upward propulsion. A good climber will generally have a small frame, low body fat, a high level of upper body strength, a reasonable balance of strength between their arms, and a high endurance factor.

Let’s compare that with the physicality of a human suffering from the Zombieism condition.

The areas of the brain known as the cerebellum and basal ganglia are imperative for physical movement, and would likely be affected by Zombieism. Damage to the cerebellum would prevent a Zombie from tuning and refining their movements. This would make conducting the careful and deliberate motions for climbing very difficult.

The basal ganglia helps us select the correct movement in a particular situation. Damage here would prevent the Zombie from actively choosing say, to move it’s hand over moving it’s leg. You can now imagine how this might affect one’s ability to climb.

Furthermore the cerebellum helps us to keep the image our eye’s are seeing still when we turn our head. If it is damaged the image will appear to slip, making it difficult to keep focus on a particular spot such as an important hand hold required for climbing.

So the answer to Chris’ question, “can Zombies rock climb” , is thankfully, no. The disease robs them of the skills required to undertake such a task. When the outbreak begins, rock climbers can simply scale their way up to safety, kick back with Bigfoot and watch the world burn below.

I’m always seeking questions to answer here on the ZomBlog. Why not leave yours as a comment below? Or visit our Book of Faces (www.facebook.com/zombiescience) and ask your question there.

I’m here for all your undead knowledge needs.

Many thanks to Chris for today’s question, and I’ll see you next time, unless you’re out at a rock climbing lesson!

Doctor Austin

Doctor Austin ZITS BSz MSz DPep, is a Theoretical Zombiologist and Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies at the University of Glasgow, Scotland UK.

Zombies - Fast Vs. Slow

Good day Zombiology Students and thanks for stopping by the ZomBlog.

The release of the Zombie epic ‘World War Z’ has reignited the debate on whether the undead would move with the shambling strength of a Glaswegian on a Friday night, or strafe the apocalyptic landscape like a decomposing Usain Bolt.

It's still preferable to a budget airline

In today’s ZomBlog I’m not going to explore the issue from the ‘what makes a good film’ perspective, but rather examine what science can contribute to the debate.

Let’s begin by exploring how a disease, like Zombieism, could create the staggering, slow moving monster we encounter in so many undead incarnations.

There are two main areas of the human brain that control movement and coordination. These are the cerebellum and basal ganglia.

The cerebellum essentially tunes and refines our movements. Imagine you are learning to balance on a board placed on a ball. You'll likely tip forward or backward, and have to lean to adjust your body to correct your balance. As you perform and repeat this action your cerebellum is learning, and with enough practice you will be able to get your balance quickly.

This elephant's cerebellum has mad skillz

If this area is affected by a disorder you will have a wider stance as you attempt to balance. When you try to walk you could easily fall and when trying to perform an action, such as touching your nose with your finger, you will often miss.

The basal ganglia are responsible for selecting a particular movement, or a series of movements. When you decide to give someone a 'high five' the basal ganglia prevent you from wiggling your leg at the same time you raise your hand.

If the basal ganglia are damaged you may become slow to begin making movement. For example if I throw a ball to you, it will have bounced off your face before you even begin raising your hand and once the movement has started you will be slow in carrying it out.

You know when you've be basal ganglia-ed

Therefore we can conclude that if the Zombieism disease is damaging or impairing the aforementioned areas of the the brain it will produce in humans an unsteady and slow Zombie-like walk.  

How then could a disease evoke the opposite effect, giving us unrelenting, fast moving Zombies?

When we face a dangerous situation, inside our brain, the hypothalamus activates, sending a chemical signal to the adrenal glands which are next to your kidneys. These glands produce adrenalin, which is to the human body what spinach is to Popeye. Fuelled by adrenalin our blood flows more easily to our muscles, bringing more oxygen with it, ultimately letting them work at heightened levels. This gives us the ability to perform actions, like running fast, slightly better than we normally would. Rather than gaining a new ability, it simply expands on what we already have. But these fits of speed are short lived as within a few minutes the body begins to return to a more normal state.

But what if we continued in this state, would that give us the unrelenting abilities of the fast Zombie? Not for long, as we’d enter a state of exhaustion, damaging our immune systems and increasing our chance of having a heart attack. Simply put, the body would run out of steam.

So in reality would a disease that causes Zombieism be more likely to give us a fast or slow Zombie? The answer, for now, has to be - slow.

My personal thoughts on the debate summed up by a meme

Disease itself means, ‘a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body’. A disease makes us worse than we are normally, it doesn’t improve us. I for one am particularly bad at running so it is unlikely that contracting a massively debilitating disease like Zombieism would suddenly give me Olympic level speed. Although if Usain Bolt contracted Zombieism I would be a little bit worried.

First I break a world record - then I eat your face

Of course, we’re dealing with Zombies from the perspective of science. In the fictional worlds of Zombie films, TV shows, games and books it may well be something ‘supernatural’  that gives them these amazing abilities. Couple that with the wonderful ways diseases are changing in our world and perhaps one day science will give us those terrifying fast moving ghouls.

If you have a question about the undead please get in touch with me in the comments section below, and don’t forget to visit our Book of Faces (www.facebook.com/zombiescience). I’m ready, waiting, and willing to answer your questions right here on the ZomBlog.

Take care out there,

Doctor Austin

Doctor Austin ZITS BSz MSz DPep, is a Theoretical Zombiologist and Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies at the University of Glasgow, Scotland UK.