Doctor Austin to retire

  

Doctor Austin
Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies
1996 - 2014

To all my students,

The time has come for me to retire as Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies. I want to thank each and every one of you for giving me the honour of teaching you about a subject I care so very passionately about. I have been so fortunate to have such a brilliant career, it has been wonderful. I know that all of you will carry on the study of Zombies and Zombieism, and take it to places I could only dream of. There are further details of my retirement in the official press release below.

I know the Institute is in safe hands, and will continue to deliver you all an excellent dose of Zombie Science.

Stay safe out there,

Doctor Austin

PRESS RELEASE

Issued: 18/08/2014

For Immediate Release

WORLD-RENOWNED THEORETICAL ZOMBIOLOGIST DOCTOR AUSTIN RETIRES

World-renowned Theoretical Zombiologist Doctor Austin is to retire from his post as Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies, at the University of Glasgow, on Monday the 25th of August 2014. Appointed in 1996, Doctor Austin has been responsible for the development of the Prion Zombieism Theorem as well as the Institute’s public engagement programme. The latter took the form of the spoof lectures and tutorials, Zombie Science 1Z, Worst Case Scenario and Brain of the Dead. Supported by the charity Wellcome Trust, these events have been seen by over 40,000 people since their inception in 2010. Two of these shows are currently taking place at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. 

 

Doctor Austin has worked extensively on the subject of Zombiology, spending time researching Kuru in Papua New Guinea during the 1960s and studying variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease in the 1990s. As Head of the Institute he has taken awareness of Zombieism to an all time high. Of his decision to retire, Doctor Austin has said, ‘I have enjoyed every moment of my time at the Zombie Institute and have been humbled to work alongside a lot of truly wonderful people. I am particularly proud of the public engagement programme through which I met so many interesting and varied individuals. I’ve always believed that science isn’t for a select few, it’s for everyone, and that’s what drove me during my years touring the world.’

The University of Glasgow have yet to announce a successor for the Institute, which first opened on campus in 1803. Doctor Austin has stated that he will remain on as Zombiologist Royal to Her Majesty the Queen, until such time as an appropriate replacement is selected.

Doctor Austin will present his final public lectures at the Edinburgh Fringe, every night until the 25th of August. The sixty minute shows’, Zombie Science: Brain of the Dead and Worst Case Scenario adopt Doctor Austin's unique combination of comedy and science. Worst Case Scenario sees the audience make decisions on dealing with a Zombie outbreak. The choices they make alter the outcome - meaning no two shows are ever the same. Brain of the Dead allows the audience to experience life as a Zombie.

Asked about this, and his future plans, the Doctor said, ‘the Fringe is a brilliant way to end my career, it’s a fascinating place, full of terrifically talented people. I have spent my whole life exploring strange environments, and this is no exception. But after a long time on the move I look forward to spending my retirement with my family and allowing the next generation to push the study of Zombiology to exciting new levels.’

Notes to Editors

About Doctor Austin;

Doctor Austin is a Theoretical Zombiologist at the University of Glasgow and has been Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies since 1996. His theories on Zombieism have been published worldwide in publications as diverse as The Times, The Guardian (Las Vegas), The Daily Mail, Playboy (Russia), The Zombie Times and The Metro. Doctor Austin has appeared on the BBC, Sirius XM (USA), RTE Television (Ireland) and is the author of Zombie Science 1Z, a guidebook to the science of the undead, first published in 2010.  

Lecture Details;

Zombie Science: Brain of the Dead – Edinburgh Fringe 2014

18th - 25th August at 7.10pm (1hr)

Tickets: £6.50 - £10.50

C Venues, Adam House, Chambers Street, EH1 1HR

Fringe Venue 34

C Venue Box Office: 0845 260 123 / www.cthefestival.com

Fringe Box Office: 0131 226 0026 / www.edfringe.com

Zombie Science: Worst Case Scenario – Edinburgh Fringe 2014

18th - 25th August at 10pm (1hr)

Tickets: £6.50 - £10.50

C Venues, Adam House, Chambers Street, EH1 1HR

Fringe Venue 34

C Venue Box Office: 0845 260 123 / www.cthefestival.com

Fringe Box Office: 0131 226 0026 / www.edfringe.com

Web Links;

www.zombiescience.co.uk

www.facebook.com/zombiescience

@ZombieScience1Z

  

##Ends##

Doctor Austin with Her Majesty the Queen

Book Review: Each New Morn

Good day Zombiology students,

Thank you for stopping by the ZomBlog. Today I’ll be taking a break from science to review Each New Morn a post-apocalyptic thriller from L. G. Thomson. My usual caveat applies, I am a scientist, not a critic, therefore I can only share my personal thoughts of the book. I must also declare a conflict of interest, as I make a special appearance in the story! In fact the book holds a special place in my heart as the author found inspiration from some of our science in the creation of her Zombies - a most humbling honour.

Each New Morn follows survivors of a deadly prion disease named Falling Down Flu. I can hear scientists grinding their teeth, as influenza refers to a virus not a prion, but settle down, this is explained in the book. This isn’t your traditional Zombie story, in fact the word Zombie is rarely used and the disease has many unique factors that set it apart from the standard Romero model. The outbreak begins with patients falling into a sleeping state for a short period. Some wake up fine, some never wake again and others, well, they come back different.

The story begins with Chrissie, a woman alone in her home, where other members of her family haven’t woken up. Anarchy has overwhelmed the streets and she makes the decision to take a car and seek safer pastures. As is often the case, Chrissie discovers that the most dangerous element of the apocalypse is not the infected but other humans.

In the second part we are introduced to Shaw, a man who was trapped on a visit to his home village and like Chrissie, his family doesn’t awaken with him. He does have a lovely dog, Toby, for company. It is here that we have our first encounter with a ‘Zombie’. This doesn’t happen until more than 80 pages in, very unusual for a Zombie tale, however I found the story so gripping, that I hadn’t even noticed. After dispatching the first of many undead monsters, Shaw begins to assemble survivors and they struggle to survive against the conditions of the remote Highland area.

I’m cautious not to reveal too many of the exciting twists and turns in the book, spoilers I believe they are called. But I must discuss the Zombies because I really loved (and was terrified) by them. Those who awaken changed behave in some of ways we expect of a Zombie. They are aggressive, relentless and difficult to kill. In a break from the norm they do not moan – they scream. Nicknamed Screamers they roam the night wailing horribly. This is a nice nod to the banshee, a fixture of Scottish Gaelic mythology. These creatures are also vulnerable to injury in a more human way, meaning it’s not just a headshot that’ll take them down. I liked that because from a scientific perspective the lack of explanation as to how the body functions without blood flowing, or consumed food & drink being transferred to energy, is a bit confusing.

Overall the story is action packed – it covers a long journey and a long period of time. It explores areas many other Zombie stories overlook, such as the rise of feral animals, an explosion in the insect population and the realistic decay of the things we humans leave behind. The approach is different from other Zombies stories, making it a fresh and surprising read – and as an avid fan of all things Zombie this doesn’t happen to me often. It is set in Scotland, and being my home country, I liked that a lot. There’s something exciting about being able to visualize these events happening in your immediate world. My only slight confusion was why American terms were used, such as ‘gas’ and ‘store’, as the characters were not American. Perhaps this helps with international sales.

If you’d like a gripping, fresh take on the Zombie genre, packed with tension and surprises that are equally pleasant and horrible then Each New Morn is for you.       

L. G. Thomson’s Each New Morn is available on Amazon and more information can be found on the official website.

I’m going to the Edinburgh Fringe 2014 with two offerings from Zombie Science, details below;

Zombie Science: Brain of the Dead – Edinburgh Fringe 2014

30th July - 25th August (not 12th) at 7.10pm (1hr)

Tickets: £6.50 - £10.50

C Venues, Adam House, Chambers Street, EH1 1HR

Fringe Venue 34

C Venue Box Office: 0845 260 123 / www.cthefestival.com

Fringe Box Office: 0131 226 0026 / www.edfringe.com

Zombie Science: Worst Case Scenario – Edinburgh Fringe 2014

30th July - 25th August (not 12th) at 10pm (1hr)

Tickets: £6.50 - £10.50

C Venues, Adam House, Chambers Street, EH1 1HR

Fringe Venue 34

C Venue Box Office: 0845 260 123 / www.cthefestival.com

Fringe Box Office: 0131 226 0026 / www.edfringe.com

Stay safe out there,

Doctor Austin   

Doctor Austin ZITS BSz MSz DPep, is a Theoretical Zombiologist and Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies at the University of Glasgow, Scotland UK.

Zombies Write! II 'A brief too far'

Welcome to the ZomBlog,

This entry is a wee break from the usual science. I've been participating in the Zombies, Write II writing challenge. Using a prompt from Dan I composed the below story, set in the world of Zombies, Run. 

Please enjoy, 'a brief too far'...   

Runner Five rested her hands on her knees, welcoming the chance to catch her breath. She barely flinched as the gate Warden inspected her sweat soaked body for scratches and bites. It was a procedure to which she'd become long since used to.

'You're clear Five, good to have you back,' the Warden proclaimed with his usual unwavering, cheerful manner. Five nodded and made her way to supply depot.

The contents of her backpack were emptied unceremoniously across the table. Batteries, ammo, pain meds, antibiotics, sports bras, and underwear formed the bulk of the pile. The team got to work sorting. Five did her best to avoid the smirks and stifled laughs.

'A few close calls out there Five?' asked Mike, the head of the storage team, sarcasm dripping from every word.

'No more Zoms than usual', Five replied curtly.

'As long as its just your legs that are running.'

The entire group erupted into fits of laughter. Five scooped up the underwear and bras, stuffed them into her backpack and stormed off.

---

Back at her shack Five was relieved to find no one else around. She reached underneath her bunk and pulled out a battered old tea chest. She popped the lid and swung it open, revealing a cache of underwear and sports bras. She added the new arrivals to the collection and shoved it back out of sight.

'Nice chest Five', came a voice from above.

Startled, Five spun to face it, heart pounding. Sam Yao lay on a top bunk, dog eared copy of the instructions for Darkness & Demons spread across his lap.

'Bite me Sam', snapped Five, and angrily stomped out.

'What? No! I meant the tea chest', Sam called after her.

---

The next day Five stalked the wilderness alone again, well almost. She truly loved the silence, perhaps one of the few positive aspects of the apocalypse. Even the Zombies no longer bothered her. They'd become little more than an inconvenience, she dodged them as one would a fallen tree. 

'I'm about to lose you on the cameras Five.' Sam's voice on her headset snapped her back from her thoughts.

Perfect. Five had been waiting for this opportunity. She pulled off her backpack and undid the buckles. From inside she removed a sports bra and set of underwear.

Behind Five a branch snapped. Slowly a Zombie emerged, stumbling toward Five from between two trees. 

Stuffing the underwear into the cups of the bra Five hooked the strap behind her thumb. With her other hand she grasped the bra between the two cups and stretched it back. Closing one eye she took aim at the incoming Zombie. She steadied her breathing, and began counting down in her head.

Three. Two. One.

Five released her grip. The elastic contracted, sending the underwear hurtling toward the rotting target. The airborne briefs made contact with the Zombie's face, lightly bounced off, and landed on the ground.

Runner 5 cursed to herself.

The Zombie paused briefly, staring at her in what Five thought was a mixture of amusement and confusion. It was as if the Zombie was astounded anyone would do something so pointless and so stupid. No, that was her imagination, Zombies always have that look.

Rummaging in her backpack Five grabbed another pair of boxer shorts. This time she carefully placed them into the bra, open end toward the front.

Five fired again, aiming slightly higher than the Zombie's head.

The boxers flew through the air, almost gliding, in a perfect arc. The wind puffed them partially open, and they descended onto the Zombie's skull. The boxers sat at a jaunty angle. Five laughed quietly to herself. Thank God Sam can't see her, this must look ridiculous.

Satisfied her plan would work, and having got to grips with the method, Five loaded another pair of boxers into the bra. As she steadied her aim she took a step back. Something pressed against the heel of her shoe. Without thinking Five fired her pants based payload just as her world turned upside down.

Five felt as if she were falling in slow motion, gracefully sailing downward, hard ground rising up to meet the back of her head.

Darkness.

When her vision cleared Five was looking up at the Zombie. It towered over her, appearing massive. Five smiled. Sitting neatly upon the Zombie's head were the pair of boxers. Her aim had been spot on. Its eyes were completely covered.

In one fluid motion Five rolled toward her pack and pulled a bat free from its holder. With cat like agility Five rose to her feet and began circling the blinded monster. She was careful not to make a sound. The Zombie kept lurching forward, toward the spot Five had fallen. Wherever Five moved, the Zombie stayed on its original course. Five smiled with satisfaction. Her theory was bang on. There's nothing mystical about how Zombie's hunt. Sight and sound. Like everything else.

'You okay Five?' Sam's voice asked over the headset, laced with concern.

It startled Five, such had been her focus on the task at hand.

'Nothing I can't handle Sam', Five replied.

At the sound of her voice the Zombie began turning, seeking the source. Five moved in front of the Zombie.

'Thanks for your assistance sweetie, you were a big help.'

Five brought her bat firmly down on its head, popping it like a melon.

---

Back in Able Five paced nervously outside the Major's office. Despite the success of her experiment she still remained somewhat hesitant about how her idea would be received. The Major's staccato call echoed from the office, ordering Five in.

Five entered and set the sports bra, with its underwear ammunition, on the desk. She would never forget the bemused look on the Major's face. It alone was worth the risk of being dismissed.

---

Dawn was breaking as the crowd of Able residents assembled in the training area. The Major stepped forward, a hush descended, and she began to address them.

'All of us know too well the challenge we face in combating the Zombie threat. They are an enemy unlike any other the human race has faced. To gain victory, and I am convinced we shall, requires new thinking, unique thinking. I have been presented with a tactical advantage, one we must all learn to master. Runner Five, your demonstration please.'

Five stepped forward, bra and underwear in hand. The supply team, led by Mike, fought to hold back laughter. The mirth infectiously rippled out to the rest of the crowd.

Two of the Major's Officers dragged something through the flaps of the tent. As it came into focus, the laughter ceased immediately. It was a Zombie, writhing forward, straining against its restraints.

'Major are you mental?' A deathly hush came upon the crowd. They strained to eye who had spoken. It was Sam.

Sam became nervous as the looks fell upon him, and added, 'Sir'.

Without even looking at him the Major shot back, 'be silent and watch Mr Yao.'

Every eye was on Five. Controlling her breath she counted down and repeated her skillful shot. The blinded Zombie bumbled around, its putrefying brain unable to figure out why it was blind, its extended arms never considering to simply remove the underwear.

'We have heard many stories', continued the Major, 'the undead are mystical, magical, they have enhanced powers that lead them to find us wherever we hide. The stories are wrong.'

The Zombie was moving toward her voice, as it reached her, the Major casually stepped sideways, and the Zombie crashed into the podium falling with it to the ground.

'Not only has Runner Five proven this today. She has given us a new weapon against the monsters. One that requires no bullets, and little maintenance. Once blinded the Zombies are easily taken down in hand to hand combat.'

Illustrating her point the Major pulled a large combat knife from her waist and sliced into the Zombie's head, nearly parting its entire skull in two. It fell down limp. 

'We owe Runner 5 a debt of gratitude.'

The entire crowd broke into applause. Grudgingly Mike joined in and Five fired him a smug wink. 

As the applause faded out at single hand rose. The Major followed it to its source and let out a heavy sigh.

'Question Mr Yao?'

'Does this mean I have to start going commando?' All eyes turned to him. 'Sir.'

                              ---

Thanks for reading,

Doctor Austin

Doctor Austin ZITS BSz MSz DPep, is a Theoretical Zombiologist and Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies at the University of Glasgow, Scotland UK.

Joining me on the 28th & 29th of October 2013 for the brand new lecture Zombie Science: Brain of the Dead at the London Horror Festival. Book your tickets online or by calling 020 7482 4857. The lecture is part of a 3 year project supported by a Society Award from the Wellcome Trust.

Angry Zombies

Fit like there students, help yourself to a cup of tea and let’s get into today’s ZomBlog.

I’m preparing our new public lecture, Zombie Science: Brain of the Dead, for it’s debut at the London Horror Festival. In this lecture I’ll be delving into the Zombie brain. Today I thought I’d share some insights into a part of the brain called the amygdala, and what its role is in Zombieism.

The amygdala lies deep within the brain and is about the size of an almond. It plays a key role in the display and control of aggression.

During a study involving monkeys, their amygdalae were stimulated electrically. This led to an increase in aggression. The fact that monkeys react angrily to having their brains electrocuted isn't exactly a revelation, but us scientists have to pass the time somehow.

The size of the amygdala is known to correlate with how aggressive a species is. If a male is castrated, the amygdala can shrink by up to 30 percent. This may offer one method of calming down male Zombies, but, as opposed to the head, usually offers a smaller target.

I'm personally uncomfortable just looking at this tool, never mind attempting to use it on a Zombie

A reason that Zombieism may want to manipulate this area, and cause increased aggression, is to help it spread.

Recent research suggests that parasites often take up residence in the amygdala. The parasite, toxoplasma causes the disease, Toxoplasmosis. Its preferred host is a cat however if it infects a mouse or rat, it changes their behaviour to make them attracted to cat odours. This will increase their chance of being eaten by a cat thus placing the parasite in the host it desires.

Unless of course the mouse has a basic understanding of explosives

In a similar way Zombieism could twist the amygdalae to do its bidding by altering Zombie behaviour, making Zombies more likely to bite, and therefore improving the odds the disease will be transferred.

Zombies biting is a bit of a ‘three for the price of one’ bonus. It’s how they breed, feed, and make us humans take heed.

Find out more about the undead brain by joining me on the 28th & 29th of October 2013 for the brand new lecture Zombie Science: Brain of the Dead at the London Horror Festival, find out more here, and book your tickets by calling 020 7482 4857. The lecture is part of a 3 year project supported by a Society Award from the Wellcome Trust.

Don’t forget, if you have a question you’d like me to answer here in the ZomBlog why not leave it as a comment below? Or visit our Book of Faces and ask your question there.

When it comes to the science of Zombies we’ve got it covered, or at the very least, we can make it sound like we do.

Keep up the good work my students,

Doctor Austin

Doctor Austin ZITS BSz MSz DPep, is a Theoretical Zombiologist and Head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies at the University of Glasgow, Scotland UK.