Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Zombie Bludgeoning & You

Fit’ like Zombiology students,

Doc A lecturing on prion disease
I had the pleasure of delivering my Zombie Science lecture as part of the Wrexham Science Festival in Wales. Afterwards I was asked a most intriguing question by one of my students, Ms Flora Cat:

“What would I need to use to effectively clean up potentially (prion disease) infected material? I can double glove, but I don’t think I have a strong enough cleaner.”

Regular students will know that we believe zombies will be caused by a prion disease, similar to Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD). But what you might not know is that these prion diseases, as well as being hard to treat, are even harder to clean up.  CJD is a good example for us to use here because it comes in many forms. You will most likely have heard of variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (vCJD), often called human mad cow disease, the kind believed to have been caused by people eating meat infected with mad cow disease. 

Another type is Iatrogenic CJD (iCJD). This is caused by healthcare-associated transmission, (i.e. patients for whom contaminated medical equipment was used or who received contaminated transplants.) Only two cases of this have ever been proven (but more cases are suspected). They involved electrodes that had been placed in a CJD patient’s brain. Once used for this they were properly sterilized and used again, only to transmit the CJD to new patients. After this was suspected to be happening the same electrodes were placed in a chimpanzee’s brain. The chimp also caught CJD and the link was proven.

It is important to note that only certain parts of the body seem to transmit CJD. Areas like the brain, spinal cord and eye have the highest infectious risk. Areas including saliva and bone marrow carry no infectious risk at all. Furthermore some people have contracted iCJD through blood transfusions from infected donors. Never accept donated blood from a zombie, not even if he offers you a biscuit.

I picked the wrong day to wear 3D glasses...
So if CJD and other prion diseases have a resistance to standard cleaning procedures what options are available to help those working in healthcare to fully disinfect their equipment?

Well, prions and prion diseases are notoriously mysterious and unusual in the science world. Methods to disinfect and sterilize them over the past few years have been controversial and cautious. What is clear is that many traditional methods are ineffective for sterilization. Methods like boiling, using dry heat or UV light for example.

But it isn’t doom and gloom because some methods, under certain circumstances, do work. A standard way to sterilize equipment is using a device called an autoclave. An autoclave is like a medical dishwasher that uses high pressure saturated steam to clean objects. Used on certain settings it can inactivate infectious prions to a safe level.
An autoclave - great for sterilizing things & getting the brown out of trousers
However the same process could be found to be ineffective due to differing prion concentrations, exposure time, temperature or a multitude of other factors.

But this applies mainly to those of us working medically with prion infected zombies. What about our Flora’s question? If you’ve just bludgeoned a zombie’s skull in and spread infectious brains all over the shop, what should you do?

Well here at the Zombie Institute we recommend a policy of avoidance in regard to those infected. Further to that we discourage violence, it should only be used as a last resort and only if you are in mortal danger. But let’s say theoretically that isn’t possible, zombies are surrounding you, threatening to bite your family, and the only solution is skull smashing. Here is the ZITS Guide to Safe Practice:

What are you moaning for? I'm the one who has to walk home alone.
  • Pick an out of the way, secure location to beat up your zombie. This should be somewhere that is only used for zombie slaying (e.g. not in your bedroom). That way you can ensure the infectious stuff stays there.
  • Gloves (doubling optional) should be worn for handling blood and body fluids. If you anticipate your zombie being a squirter add in some gowns, masks and protective eyewear. Don’t forget to keep this kit in your location and always leave it there. No popping it on for parties when you can’t be bothered creating a Halloween costume.
  • Select a suitable tool (e.g. giant mallet) for the bludgeoning procedure, use it only for prion zombie beatings, and keep it in your selected location. This avoids cross contamination. (I.e. forking a zombie to death then using the same fork to eat a pot noodle = very bad) Ideally you really only want to use a weapon once then have it destroyed. This might not be possible with available resources, but try and be creative. The computer game Dead Rising provides plenty of inspiration. (E.g. bat + nails = bat with nails, jewels + torch = lightsaber...ok they don’t all work...)
  • To decontaminate surfaces and instruments as well as safely dispose of waste please check out the unexcitedly named but very informative ‘Biosafety Practices for Handling Prions and Prion-Infected Tissues’ paper. (Link in the references)
Dead Rising 2 gives the Laws of Thermodynamics a badly scalded finger
So in conclusion, there are many ways in which you can attempt to clean up prion zombie infected mess. However much of the equipment, chemicals and practical skills are not likely to be in great supply or easily accessible if a zombie outbreak occurs, therefore the best solution is careful avoidance. If unfortunately you are forced to kill a zombie try and use a non-splattering style. Remember unlike fictional zombies real zombies do have to breathe so put down that pick axe and pick a pillow, you’ll quickly find yourself smothering your way to safety.

I ain't paying for a home Mum...ahem...I mean take that Zombie.
Thanks to Flora for her question and remember keep your Zombie Science queries coming our way because in the fight against zombies the greatest weapon is knowledge, and crossbows, but mainly knowledge.

Best wishes,
Doc A

Doctor Austin ZITS BSz MSz DPep is head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies and Zombiologist Royal to Her Majesty the Queen

See the Zombie Science 1Z Lecture –

Newcastle City Library:
Saturday 21st & Sunday 22nd August 2011
33 New Bridge Street West, Newcastle, England NE1 8AX
Lecture Times: Sat - 1400 & 1600 (2 & 4pm) Sun – 1200 & 1500 (12 & 3pm)
Tickets: Free – must be reserved in advance call 0191 277 4100
Suitable for ages 13+

Rutala W: Guideline for Disinfection and Sterilization of Prion-Contaminated Medical Instruments, 2010 Feb, Infection Control and Hospital Epidemiology (http://www.unc.edu/depts/spice/dis/ICHE-2010-Feb-p107.pdf)
Michigan State University: Recommended Biosafety Practices for Handling Prions and Prion-Infected Tissues, May 2007, Biosafety in Research (http://www.biosafety.msu.edu/current_topic/Prions/working_with_prions.pdf)
CJD Support Network: Iatrogenic CJD Information Sheet 3, Jan 2008


  1. Harvey Keitel would know what to do. I think I'd just call him. :)

  2. The sheeple might as well be zombies at this point.

  3. Jose Andrews is my name, Some people keep questioning God, asking him why he allowed Satan to put in the world deadly diseases, but they never know that anything happening in this life, is just for a particular reason. Here is my story on how I was cured of schizophrenia (Brain Disease) by a herbal doctor Uwadia Amneifo using his herbal mixture. Few months ago, I realized I had some problem with my system, and later on I begin to forget things easily. I complained to my doctor after his text he said just a little problem with me, but that soon I will be fine. He prescribed for me and I was taking medicine according to his prescription but my condition was getting worse instead of coming down. So I went back to my doctor after some time, he said am having issues with my brain, this continues gradually until it became worse and I was diagnosed of schizophrenia (Brain Disease) and this disease is same with SCJD. My doctor told me there is no cure to this disease that I have to live and die with it. It continued for one month and my system was almost shutting down before my cousin brother came to my house to visit and broke to us the news about a herbal doctor he heard about called doctor Uwadia Amenifo that cured some body of SCJD . So he explained how he heard about this herbal doctor uwadia Amenifo and the kind of terrible diseases this doctor have cured. His words were very impressing and I had to give the doctor a try. We made contact with him and he said he can cure me. So my cousin made all necessary arrangement with him, and he prepared herbs and send to me in USA. I took the herbs according to his prescription and behold to cut long story short his herbs works perfectly well, and cured me of my schizophrenia (Brain Disease). Today I am hale and healthy and evidence of my healthiness can been seen in this piece of note I wrote myself to tell the world about Herbal Doctor Uwadia Amenifo. Please if you know anyone suffering from brain disease, in a hurry contact Doctor Uwadia Amenifo on his email (doctoruwadiaamenifo@gmail.com), and his cell no is +2349052015874. I wish all suffering from brain problem quick recovery.

  4. Hello……………
    I’m James Maxwell by name, I’m here to share my testimony about Doctor Chukwu herbal medicine Cure , he has the cure to different kinds of diseases, he cured me and my son of Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD) and diabetes, I was diagnosed of diabetes and my son was diagnosed of Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease over 3 years now,we live in pain for years ,so desperate for cure. one day i was glancing through different website I saw different testimonies about Doctor Chukwu,so many people saying he cured them of different diseases,i was so surprised, but i have so option because me and my son need the cure desperately ,so i contacted him via his email. (drchukwu22@gmail.com),he replied and Needed some Information about me and my son, then I sent them to him, then after all the necessary arrangement he prepared his herbal medicine and sent to me in my country , i received the herbal medicine ,we call Doctor Chukwu then he told us how to use the herbal medicine ,he said we will be totally cured after 14days of usage which we believed with faith.so after 14days of usage they was a lot of changes in our life’s ,so we went for check-up, I was tested diabetes FREE and my son was fully recovered from Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD) was like a miracle to my family , Doctor Chukwu will never let you down ,he is a great man. I want to testify to everyone that all hope is not lost. Never give up the fight for a cure. If you are interested in getting cured of your I want to testify to everyone that all hope is not lost. Never give up the fight for a cure. If you are interested in getting cured of your Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD) ,and diabetes you can contact the doctor that cured me and my son, you can also contact Doctor Chukwu with the following link. Doctor Chukwu
    E-mail: (drchukw22@gmail.com).
    Phone Number: (+2348154800222)
    website : http://drchukwuhealinghome.simplesite.com/

  5. Rose Weel is my name, I live in USA. I want to say to the whole world how my husband was cured of his Alzheimer’s disease. Brothers and Sisters, my husband is 78 years old. He is a retired US Army. He fought so many wars, and had encounter with so many dangerous diseases. Before he embarked on his last peace mission to Iraq they were administered injections that will enable them carry out their duties effectively. So they went to the battle field where he lost so many of his colleagues and also he was shot on his throat but bullets don’t have much effect on him. So after the battle he survived it and returned back to USA off course he was rewarded heavily by the government, and that lead to his retirement. But after his retirement, he began to behave funny like forgetting all he did in the past, and sometimes don’t recognize me his wife quickly. I took him to Military hospital, and the doctor said some king of liquid in his body is causing him so many reactions, and this is affecting his brain to cut the long story short, after much diagnoses using EEG, and also the test of PROTEIN 14-3-3 all pointing out to the fact that his brain has malfunction. So he was giving medicines but his condition was still becoming worse even while taking the medicines administered. So we went back to the military hospital, and he was finally diagnosed of Alzheimer’s disease and this the doctor said have no cure. So his conditions began to get worst by the day. I cried out for help, but the government only gave us financial support. I all the time surf the web looking for possible cure until I ran into a blog where a man named James Watt gave testimony on how his cousin was cured of CJD by an herbal doctor called Doctor Uwadia Amenifo. In his testimony he imputed the contact detail of the herbalist. So I quickly copied out the contact details of Uwadia, and I contacted him immediately and explained to him what my husband is going through. He encouraged me and promised me that surly he will cure my husband, so after all necessary arrangement was made; he prepared the herbal medicine, and shipped it to me in USA, so I followed his instructions, and gave the medicine to my husband. Behold just like a magic in my eyes my husband was responding positively to the medicine and in just less than 3 weeks I started giving him the medicine, he was very okay, and in less than 7 weeks my husband was totally curd, and as I speak to you now my husband is totally cured, and he is now very okay, and in good health. So please all here shall help me say a big thanks to Doctor Uwadia Amenifo for helping me cure my husband of his Alzheimer’s disease. Please if you need Doctor Uwadia’s contact details, here is it. Email (doctoruwadiaamenifo@gmail.com) and his number is (+2349052015874). God bless all.

  6. I want to say a big thanks to Doctor Andre Armstead of USA for helping me cure me of my Brain disease. Brothers and sisters, Nath Luth is my name and I live in Texas USA. Few years ago I had a car accident and my brain was affected I was rushed to the hospital the doctor did his check and said I don’t have any internal injury in my brain but just that I was emotionally fragmented and for that reason I lost memory of what happened. But sometimes I sleep at night and I see in dream how I got the accident. But when dawn if am asked how it happened, I can’t say it. It continued like that and I found myself very forgetful. Doctor gave me medicines like Diuretics, Anti-seizure drugs, Coma-inducing drugs, to some extents the drugs helped but later on it stop helping me and as a result of this, I was fully diagnosed of schizophrenia (Brain Disease). Doctor said my problem was same with a variety of brain disease like salience syndrome, Psychosis, susceptibility syndrome, Asperger's Syndrome, Lemierre syndrome, Stevens Johnson Syndrome, Steele-Richardson-Olszewski syndrome, vascular dementia, CJD, mad cow disease, PTSD, encephalitis, panic disorder, OCD, ADD and a lot more. So i and my family became very afraid because doctor said I would die with it. My Immediate younger brother is an ICT officer he is always on the internet. So he came home and said he read about a herbal doctor called Doctor Andre Armstead who have used his herbal medicine to cure so many people of various diseases. So he copied out the contact details of the Dr and he contacted him. He emailed him, and explained to him what I was passing through but Dr Andre promised him that he will cure me of my brain disease and I will be totally cured for life. So he made the arrangement with Dr Andre, and he prepared the herbs from Washington and shipped it to us in Texas. So I followed his instructions on how to take it and behold it worked for me just like a magic, and totally cured me of my long suffered brain disease, and today I am totally cured of my brain disease. Please if you are out there suffering from any kind of brain disease, or you know someone suffering from it, I urge you to contact Dr Andre immediately and get your cure. His contact details are (doctorandreaarmstead@gmail.com) and his phone number is +1 (617) 663-8926, Thanks.

  7. My wife suffered Creutzfeldt - Jakob disease (CJD) for several years. i looked for how to get rid of this Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD) for a long period of time, but could not found any solution, my Doctor said to me that there is not cure for Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD). So I begin to worry but not too long i saw some good news on the internet on how a herbal doctor cured so many persons of various diseases, and viruses. So i also decided to contact the doctor those people talked about he is by the name Doctor Obiakanze, I quickly copied his email and I emailed him, and i explained my problem to him, he said he has the cure for Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD) that I should worry no more and i decided to give him a try because there is no harm in trying. So i started the process, and he prepared his herbal medicine and sent it to me here in my country, so i began to give it to my wife according to his prescription and behold it worked for her. Before 21 days she was totally cured I am happy to say today i am happy and my wife is free from Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD).. Please if you also have same, and or similar problem please rush to contact Doctor Obiakanze before it becomes too late for you. His email is drobiakanzehealinghome@gmail.com

  8. I'm Dorothy Saltzman, From Texas, USA. but curently Reside in Germany. It's no longer Rumors that the Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome ALS And Herpes Virus is increasing Day by Day. The fear is that many people living with the sickness are scared of saying it because of the stigma that comes along with it. I 'm bold enough among many others to state that there is now a Potent Cure to this sickness but many are unaware of it. I discovered that I was infected with ALS virus 3months Ago, After a Herbal Medical Check-Up. My Doctor EHI, told me and I was shocked, confused and felt like my World has crumbled. I was dying slowly due to the Announcement of my Medical Practitioner but he assured me that I could leave a normal life if I took my Medications (as there was no Medically known Cure to Herpes). I went from Churches to Churches but soon found that my Case needed urgent Attention as I was growing lean due to fear of dying anytime soon. In a bid to look for a lasting solution to my Predicament, I sought for solutions from the Voodoo World. I went online and searched for every Powerful Trad-medical Practitioner that I could Severe, cos I heard that the African Voodoo Priests had a cure to the Herpes Syndrome. It was after a little time searching the Web that I came across one Dr EHI (A Powerful African Voodoo Priest), Who offered to help me at a Monetary fee. I had to comply as this was my Final bus-stop to receiving a perfect healing. My last resolve was to take my life by myself, should this plan Fail. At last it worked out well. He gave me some steps to follow and I meticulously carried out all his Instructions. Last month, to be precise, I went back to the hospital to conduct another test and to my Amazement, the Results showed that " I am NEGATIVE". You can free yourself of this Herpes virus by consulting this great African Voodoo Priest via this e-mail:(drehicurehome123@gmail.com) or call and whats-app him on +2349030589283 He will help you and his Herbal Medication is Sure. He has the Cure on all this Disease/Virus as He told me and it listed. GENITAL WARTS/ PREGNANCY. EPILEPSY. GENPILENCIN, HIV/AIDS, MADNESS, WEAK ERECTION, WATERY SPERM, TUBERCULOUSES, PENIS ENLARGEMENT, PREGNANCY, DIABETICS, STROKE, EXPANDS OF PENIS BREAST H.P.V TYPE 1 TYPE 2 TYPE 3 AND TYPE 4. TYPE 5, HUMAN PAPAILOMA VIRUS, HERPES, SYPHILIS, BREAST CANCER, HEPATITIS A B and C, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, AND BODY BOILS, BODY ODDUR, AND BODY DISEASES , THANK TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR TIME OF READING MY TESTIMONY AND MOST ESPECIALLY YOU Dr EHI. I PRAY TO GOD TO NEVER LET ME AND MY FAMILY FORGET YOU IN OUR LIFE

    Why go the Expensive Treatment? when Dr. EHI is there to help you get rid of that
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  9. I am happy because today i am a living testimony. i want all here to know how i was cured of my CJD. i was diagnosed of CJD some months back. And my health begins to deteriorate gradually. It got to the extent that the symptoms was now all over my body. i have spent thousands of $$ in search for a cure but my doctor keep telling me no cure. i almost gave up. But on a very faithful day as my daughter was browsing on the internet, she saw someone who testified of how a herbal doctor by the name Doctor Ehidiamen cured him of his disease with the use of herbs. So she tried to get in contact with this doctor, and after she explain to him, he assured her that he can cure me of my CJD. He gave me the steps to follow, i followed it and he prepared the herbs and send it to me in USA. i took the mixture according to his prescription and behold it worked perfectly for me. Today i am happy to say i totally cured of my CJD and my family is happy together again. Please i want you all suffering from CJD, or other brain related problem to also get cured just as i was cured. for this reason i want you all to contact the herbal doctor Ehidiamen. His email is email is: doctorehidiamen@gmail.com and his phone number is +2348146942481. Just explain to him what you are passing through and get his counsel and treatment. Thanks to you all.