Sunday, 7 November 2010

Marking bites and so do zombies

It has been a very exciting week here at Z.I.T.S. We made the first definite confirmation of dates for my forthcoming lecture tour 'Zombie Science 1Z'. It will be on at the Queen Margaret Union in Glasgow, Scotland on the 17th,24th,31st of March and 7th April 2011. For more details visit the official site (

I hurriedly began preparations for my power point presentation which as you will know is the heart of a good lecture. I remember acetate sheets. I was always printing them upside down, threw thousands of them away. Unfortunately I had 400 student exams to mark before I could begin. I decided to give them all a pass to save me time and the students stress.

I find it really exciting when you are forced to distil points for a slide. It forces you to focus on the basics. When you see ideas across a series of slides you see the connections that exist between things.

Taking a zombie's most famous past time, biting. This single action can tell us scientists so much about it. Biting is how zombieism is traditionally passed on. This indicates it has to be some kind of virus or disease.

If zombieism were a genetic condition they only method of making more zombies is for it to reproduce.

No matter how much you might have had to drink tonight it is highly unlikely you have slept with a zombie and are pregnant with its undead child. On the off chance you have woken up next to one and neglected to use contraception you'd better head down the supermarket and stock up on puree of brain.

Doctor Austin Z.I.T.S is head of the Zombie Institute for Theoretical Studies and Zombiologist Royal to Her Majesty the Queen

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